In Search of Life
by Kikennaai
Summary: One can only live in torment for so long, and Kagome wants out of hers. Setting out to find her way can she find a new life as her own person and way from Inuyasha's continous and scaring betrayals.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfiction that i've ever posted i hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: There is nothing I own except for my brain and body and I think someone recently put them on ebay.**

Chapter 1

Kagome withered in pain, gasping for air that wouldn't fill her constricting lungs. She hated the pain she hated living with it every day, but she could not bring herself to hate the person or persons who caused it. No her hatred was reserved for those who were truly evil, not those who lingered in the world surviving off of part of her soul. Her hatred belonged to Naraku , not her Hanyou best friend who ignored her and her pain, nor the lifeless shell of a woman whom her best friend couldn't get over.

Perhaps she didn't even hate the filthy Half Demon responsible for the pain and suffering of her friends and the others of this era, perhaps what she felt was extreme anger, dislike, and pity for the cruel heartless abomination. Perhaps what was said of her is true, that she had no place in her heart for hatred. She doubted though, that she was as pure and untainted as everyone claimed.

She had always doubted herself, once she had started traveling between the two eras. It was hard to have any confidence when someone who you had loved was always comparing you to another, always insulting you, always putting you down, and always complaining. Her first year or two had completely diminished her trust in her abilities. She wasn't sure exactly she had lost all her trust in herself.

Yes she was confident, and yes she wasn't about to let anyone push her around but even when she seemed so strong willed there was a part of her that doubted she would ever be able to back up her threats. She had never really been put to the test except when her dear Hanyou thought she wouldn't dare subdue him.

"Lady Kagome," Miroku whispered and Kagome focused on what her friend was saying knowing that he might be able to help her through the pain, "Breathe milady. Slowly, shh. Calm down, force your pain away, breathe." The monk chanted placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Kagome followed his instructions; she inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. She thought of her friends and happy times. The people she loved and the people she knew loved her; she brought happy memories to the front of her mind allowing them to push away the pain that had so suddenly consumed her.

She let a sigh of relief escape her as the pain subsided into nothing more than a dull ache, although it was more than what was normal. She sat up and smiled at her monk friend in thanks, he was the only one who knew what she went through having another person live off of her soul, her life force. He had been a good friend by keeping her secret and helping her through it all. Sure the others, save for Inuyasha noticed that she sometimes experienced great pain, but Sango, Shippo, and Kirara had never been able to identify what it was.

Sitting up and stretching Kagome allowed her aura to spread out taking in the surrounding area, noticing the others may not be able to pick up. She knew that Kikyo was near and that Inuyasha was with her. The thought didn't cause her as much pain, nor the same pain, as it had before. What she felt was the pain of them never really having a chance, and although it was debatable on how much Kikyo loved the hanyou it wasn't remotely questionable on Inuyasha's side.

"Lady Kagome, do you know what 'caused you pain?" Miroku asked although he had a clue as to what it was.

Kagome nodded slowly, she was still a little uncomfortable with how much respect that monk gave her but she had given up on telling him to do otherwise. Not to mention it was nice to know that someone other than Shippo respected her, "Inuyasha is off with Kikyo again. Her nearness is the cause, but I think you might have figured that out on your own"

"Indeed, milady, but it doesn't hurt to be sure," Miroku said with a kind smile as he sat comfortably next to the young miko. "Does it still hurt that he will never love you?" Miroku asked understanding how much unreturned love hurts; he had his own scars from the past.

"No, not as much as it once had. I am rather surprised at that, I thought I would never get over it. Yet here I sit and the only pain I feel is because of her nearness, and the sadness of their story," She had never lied to the monk, and she wouldn't start now over something as petty as being sad about a love story.

"You are truly something else Kagome-sama," Miroku said letting a little of his awe taint his normally calm tone. Had he been in the situation he would have found it almost impossible to do what the young woman had.

"Do you believe that Miroku?" She asked a little surprised that he had said that, after all she had thought herself weak for taking as long as she had to get over it, forgive, and forget.

"Indeed. You are the only creature alive I know that could forgive that easily. I could not, and I don't know if I could now, and yet you do and your history with those two is a lot more to deal with than my own experience." Miroku said honestly. He had told her of his experience, and even through her own pain and struggle she had managed to feel for him.

"I thank you for those word Miroku-san, they mean a lot to me," Kagome said placing a friendly hand on Miroku's forearm. She then tensed and retracted her aura, "Inuyasha returns and not alone, I believe he wishes Kikyo to join us."

Miroku sat shocked for a moment he wondered why Inuyasha would do that, he also realized that his dear friend, his sister, would have to deal with an increased amount of pain. He would have to fight harder to control his anger now.

"I'll manage to deal, and if it is impossible I may have to leave and return when I'm able to deal with it. But for now try and return to sleep while I meditate and try to control the pain." Kagome said and lay down after the monk had left.

Kagome inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly focusing her mind on her breathing as the pain increased as the distance between the two priestess diminished. The closer the couple got the harder it was for Kagome to suppress the pain she felt. She clamped her eyes shut as she concentrated her brow wrinkling in her struggle. She inhaled deeply one last time gathering her thoughts together she exhaled allowing her memories of the people she loved to flood her mind sending the very peaceful emotions through her, calming her and numbing the pain until it was an ache, barely tolerable.

Finally she felt Inuyasha and Kikyo's presences enter the clearing they had made camp in. She almost whimpered as the pain almost consumed her. She doubted she could stay like this for long, she would try for a few days but they would be exhausting days and she doubted she would have much energy to fight. Which she was sure would give Inuyasha gloating privileges, had she thought that he would have given up on taunting her and belittling her she would have been a fool and that she was not.

Kagome remained awake all night and was well aware of when Inuyasha and the undead miko had finally fallen asleep. Only then did she push herself up to a sitting position and contemplate what their aura's had told her. Inuyasha had finally mated Kikyo and although it was no surprise Kagome had found herself wondering why he didn't wait until they could find a permanent way of resurrecting the miko. She didn't mind and was sure that Inuyasha expected the biggest fight from her; he thought her still in love with him. She figured he wouldn't even tell the others that Kikyo was now his mate, and she was sure that this would make Kikyo upset.

Standing and stretching she walked away from the camp wanting to be alone with her thoughts as she watched the sun rise. Kagome knew she couldn't stay long with her feudal family, she had always known that she would eventually leave them in search of her own personal strength. Determined to no longer be a hindrance she would train, the arrival of Kikyo merely sped her timeline up. Three days would be enough time to prepare; she would say her goodbyes and seal the well so that Inuyasha may not pass. She would also make it seem as if the well had been destroyed, in case he thought of destroying it out of anger.

Perhaps traveling over Japan would give her the training and experience she needed. She had her basic fighting skills and her Miko powers were progressing with time, she had planned to seek help in training as well. She had a while before the final fight came, she could feel that much. She could feel that a quarter of the jewel remained unclaimed and until it was the final battle would not take place. Naraku wasn't stupid and neither was she, she knew he was using them to gather the Shikon shards so that he wouldn't have to and because of that he would be stupid to try and destroy the group until all the jewel shards were collected. This was the reason his battles seems half-hearted, he was merely spurring them into motion not that Inuyasha took the time to notice this.

Kagome sighed as she felt her aura tug, her friends were waking and she better head back and make breakfast, some of them were in for a big shock, well most of them anyway. She calmly walked back and began the preperations for their morning meal. The events of what might happen were already playing through her head as she hummed softly to herself. Inuyasha would sleep in a little later; finally wake up start demanding her to make food before realizing that food was already made. Then after making a fool out of himself he would announce Kikyo joining their group. Miroku and herself would sit calmly, while Kikyo stood and looked at everyone with her cold, hard, dead eyes. Sango would stand and make a point of saying no, and Shippo would make a larger spectacle of his no throwing in jabs at both Inuyasha and his new mate in defense of his mother. Inuyasha would swear and yell and threaten, two of the group would retaliate and three would remain impassive until everything was over and done with.

The members of the traveling group were very predictable in these circumstances, or at least similar ones. She wouldn't be surprised if she could right out a daily routine for them. _'7:00 Inuyasha wakes and demands food. 7:15 Kikyo stares coldly at everyone. 7:16 Sango glares at Kikyo. 7:18 Inuyasha finally notices and yells at Sango. 7:18 Miroku rolls his eyes as Inuyasha starts yelling. 7:19 Shippo interrupts with some kind of insult. 7:20 Inuyasha threatens Shippo. 7:20 I sit him for threating my son. 7:21 Kikyo glares at me for various reasons.'_

Kagome smiled at her friends as they ate wishing that they would enjoy the peace of the moment before it was ripped to shreds by the ungraceful Hanyou that was about awake. '_3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .and-' _Kagome almost didn't suppress her laugh when Inuyasha jumped down from the tree he and his mate had fallen asleep in.

"Wench! Wake up and make me some damned food already!" Inuyasha yelled, failing to notice that everyone was already awake and eating.

"Inuyasha the food is already made and we're all already up, were just waiting for you," Kagome said removing all tones from her voice, which made her sound much like a feminine Sesshomaru.

"Keh well it saves me from waking your sorry ass up!" he yelled attempting to save some of his diminishing dignity. He then bound back in the tree and gathered his mate in his arms, before landing gently on the ground. Trying not to disturb the fragile shell in his arms, standing said women on her feet he turned to the group. Plainly ignoring the two members who didn't like gaping idiots he addressed the ones who were repeatedly at a loss for words. "Kikyo will be joining us from here on in."

It was obvious that he expected Kagome to fight when his eyes shifted to her when he finished his announcement. Instead of the large reaction he was expecting the young miko nodded her head in acceptance.

"Oh and when did you come to this decision?" Sango demanded as she stood challenging her 'pack leader' as demons would call it.

"Last night." Inuyasha said thinking nothing of the Demon Slayers rebellion.

"And we don't get a say in the matter?" Sango asked mimicking the growl of an angered Youkai.

"No. It was _my_ choice and _I_ decided she travels with us," Inuyasha said thinking that it was the end of the rebellion.

Kagome sighed as the familiar yet different scene played out in front of her; it would soon be Shippo's turn to chip in. So she ignored the rest of her group and turned her attention to the other miko wondering briefly if her face as frozen in a permanent glare "Would you like some breakfast Kikyo?" She kindly asked the miko, who in return shook her head. Kagome figured the woman had no need of food, but as manners compelled her she handed the miko some tea she had made.

"What did you say you little runt?" Inuyasha demanded attempting to strike the swift kitsune, who had already escaped through his legs.

"I know you hear perfectly well what I said," Shippo taunted, he had spent a little too much time around Sesshomaru when he had stayed a week to learn about demon customs because it was glaringly obvious that no one here would be able to teach him. For the favor Kagome had to pay a price, although not a bad one considering what the stoic lord could have asked her to do. He merely requested she tell him of her time, and how she traveled in between the two eras.

Kagome had oddly enough enjoyed the time she spent with the killing perfection, learning that he was a lot less emotionless within the safety of his home spending half a year with someone could teach you a lot about them. Even then few saw him without the mask of indifference. She had when his curiosity took over; at first her only indicator had been his eyes from there it was subtle muscle jumps in his face. Then they returned home, Shippo knowing more about demon customs and her about the stoic lord.

"Don't taunt me you brat or I'll separate your head from your shoulders!" Inuyasha threatened and then paled as he realized that Kagome had started to growl.

"Sit." She said it calmly but the Hanyou met the ground with more power than any of her overly emotional cries could muster.

"What the fu-"

"Don't start. The faster you get out of your hole the faster things can get a move on," Kagome said cutting off Inuyasha. Miroku shot her a concerned look and only looked away once Kagome gave him a nod in confirmation.

"Fine," Inuyasha muttered into the ground before getting up a few minutes after. He sat himself relatively close to Kikyo his arms and legs crossed in the fashion he found most comfortable.

"Now." Kagome drawled trying to push back the pain that was brought on when she was in near the dead miko, "Why don't you tell them your other piece of news?"

Inuyasha looked at Kagome confused, as if he didn't know what she was suggesting. He was still trying to pretend that no one knew of the mating that had gone on between him and the living dead miko, the shell that once was his love.

"I mean the mating, Inuyasha," Kagome said more than irritated, "Tell them that you also took Kikyo as your mate last night"

"I took Kikyo as my mate last night," Inuyasha droned not thinking of what he was saying he was focused on Kagome, "How did you know?"

Kagome sighed before straightening herself out, "Demons are able to tell by smell, which I know you've covered so that neither Shippo nor Kirara would know. I know because a mating is not only a physical thing, which is what creates the smell, but a spiritual thing. A blending of the two auras, which I as a miko can sense, so can Miroku, but it's not his strong point"

"Oh and it's yours?" Inuyasha scoffed, "Like I'd believe that! Your to week to sense anything but the jewel shards and even then you're a weak shard detector, which was the other reason I brought Kikyo into the group. You're far too weak to do anything it would just be better if you returned to your time"

Kagome hadn't expected this, but she wasn't hurt by the Hanyou's words. In fact she was relieved now she could leave without upsetting Sango too much. This would also give her a chance to use her miko powers on the well. She nodded her head in understanding at Inuyasha's words, "Very well then. I will return home, but I ask that Sango, Miroku, and Shippo escort me back to the well. You are right I don't belong with you."

Sango, Kagome and Shippo climbed onto Kirara's back and Miroku ran beside the cat demon. It was a fairly short distance to the well. They landed beside the well and the rides slipped off.

"Mama, you can't go back," the little kitsune cried as he hugged his adopted mother. Kagome stroked his hair calmly.

"Shippo, honey. I'm not going back. I just need Inuyasha to think that, I need to be away from him and Kikyou." Kagome said trying to comfort the young fox demon.

"O-okay mama," the kit managed in between sniffles.

"I'm going to seal and mask the well, your job is to tell Inuyasha that you think that I sealed it on the other side and when I did the well disappeared. I don't want him destroying the only way I have home." Kagome said very calm and it was soon apparent to Sango and Shippo that she had been planning this for a while. They didn't ask though, and they didn't ask why Miroku was the only one who did not seem shocked.

"Where will you go?" Sango asked instead figuring that question was more important.

"Here and there. Everywhere. I don't know yet, I suppose I'll go where ever the wind takes me. If you want to visit I can send someone to tell you my current location. Just make sure it's only you three,"

The three nodded all seemingly understanding and Kagome briefly wondered about the extent of Sango and Shippo's understanding. She shrugged it off and gave her three friends, her family in this time, hugs goodbye.

"Okay so Miroku, Shippo you are going to feel an influx in the wells power, as if I am passing through the well. I will then mask my presence to make it seem as if I have gone through. After that I will seal it so that Inuyasha won't be able to go through, which will cause another influx of power. Once that has been done I will mask the wells aura and appearance so that it looks as if the well disappeared."

"Mama, why do you need to seal the well to Inuyasha if you are hiding it from him?" Shippo asked clinging to his mother figure.

"Inuyasha is connected to the well, if I merely hid it he would be able to tell that it is just a spell, if I close the well to him the connection is lost and it will lead him to believe that the well is gone for good." Kagome explained and place Shippo on the ground before walking towards the well.

Kneeling in front of the old dry well she placed her hands gently on the edge. Almost inaudibly she chanted the spell to influx the bone eater's well. She then quickly masked her presence, after that was done she looked back at Miroku who nodded his head. It seemed as if she had really gone through the well. Kagome smiled at him and turned back to the well, chanting the spell and begging the well to do as she willed. She smiled again when she felt the connection she had with Inuyasha disappear; again she quickly turned her attention and power to hiding the well's presence and appearance.

She took a step back and her brow furrowed as she looked at the well, it was still there. It should look as if it's no longer there. She looked at her friends, "Can you guys see the well?" she asked and smiled when the three of her friends shook their heads, "Great. Now, go back to Inuyasha and by me some time to get away."

Kagome immediately walked away smiling sadly as her friends went to tell her lie. She would keep walking until she could no longer feel their presence and when that happened she would be long out of their range.

She stopped briefly when she felt their presences almost faded completely. She quickly changed into a silk Kimono and stashed her yellow bag in nearby underbrush masking it with another spell. She took only her bow and arrow, medical supplies, a small traveling bag and some rations. The rest she would leave there until it was safer to retrieve it.

Looking up at the sky she took a deep breath, this is where her own story would begin. She had heard her grandfather go on about a Hanyou and two mikos, one he was in love with and the other was simply a friend. She knew that was the story of her first two years of her journey, but she had never heard her grandfather mention a story about a miko if it wasn't Kikyo. '_Or maybe I just wasn't paying attention'_ Kagome shook her head and smiled, she hadn't felt this good in a while, she was finally free of the pain both emotional and physical.

She no longer felt her soul being weighed down with constant insults, and comparisons, or the hatred the other half of her soul felt. She was happy, finally.

-I-

"So she finally went back?" Inuyasha asked as coldly as he could muster, it was hard.

"Yes." Miroku said and forced his face to look concerned, although the Hanyou couldn't tell the difference.

"Spit it out monk, what is it?" Inuyasha asked he felt odd, as if something was missing.

"Something-" Miroku paused just long enough, "odd happened after Kagome went through the well"

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed and Miroku silently panicked that the half demon could tell he was lying, "What?"

Miroku breathed a sigh of relief as he sat across the fire, opposite of the Hanyou in red, "Well she went through and the well suddenly flared again, as if she was coming back through. So we investigated and found that she wasn't at the bottom of the well. We turned away and then the well's aura suddenly disappeared. We looked back and it was-" Miroku paused again masking his face in confusion.

"It was what Miroku!" the impatient Hanyou asked growling lowly in his chest.

"It was gone. Inuyasha the well dissapered."

"WHAT?" Inuyasha demanded. He had never been shocked into silence and this wasn't going to be any different. He had been wondering what felt so off, and now he knew. The connection he had with the well was gone, his only connection to Kagome had been cut off. That shouldn't have happened, unless of course the well had been destroyed, but that wasn't the case because the monk had said so.

"I said the well Disappeared," the monk said calmly, which he knew wouldn't seem that odd considering he had the tendency to calm when another was about to lose it, and Inuyasha was obviously close to losing it.

Inuyasha growled and turned to Kikyo, "How would that be possible?" Inuyasha asked losing his angry and frustrated tone.

"If she sealed it," Kikyo said slowly trying to gauge the Hanyou's reactions, "Then it would cut off your connection."

"What else is there Kikyo?" Inuyasha asked feeling his mate hesitate.

"It is also possible that, since the wells only purpose was to transport Kagome between the two eras, it would disappear when it became obsolete." Kikyo said leaving no doubt that Kagome was in fact gone for good.

"I'll go see for myself," Inuyasha said gruffly. He stood and walked away ignoring the fact that Shippo, Sango, and Miroku were glaring at the dead miko who was glaring back with nearly as much hatred.

He ignored it because he couldn't handle the truth, he couldn't own up to the fact that making Kagome may have been the biggest mistake in his life. He didn't think she would go so easily, he thought she would fight until he gave up and stay here. Even if she did end up going home he didn't expect her to seal the well, he didn't think she would stay gone. He didn't want her to stay gone, but he wouldn't admit to that. He wouldn't admit to a lot of things.

End chapter.

**Please tell me what you think, and thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews and for reading my last chapter hear is the second one**

Chapter 2

Inuyasah fell to his knees; it was undeniable now the proof was right in front of him. Well no it was gone, which was his proof. The well was gone, Kagome was gone and she wasn't coming back. He rested his head on the ground anger and grief overwhelming him, his head weighed down by the shame he felt having caused the young, alive, priestess to return to her time.

His nose twitched when the smell of his own tears reached his eyes, bringing back harsher memories of the many times he had caused Kagome to cry. He lifted his head to stare blankly at where the well had been, that's when he felt it. A tugging, the same thing he had felt whenever he was close to the well. It was the connection he had to the well and to Kagome, he had hope; hope that he could bring the miko back, hope that she wasn't lost to him forever.

Suddenly there was a quick snap and the beads fell from his neck, he lifted a hand absentmindedly and caught the falling beads. They rolled from his hand and fell on to the forest floor, without Kagome and the well the necklace he wore had become obsolete.

"Half-breed cease your Sniffling." Sesshomaru said coldly as he looked dispassionately at the half demon on his knees.

"What do you want, you bastard?" Inuyasha asked quickly wiping his tears away; he didn't have enough energy to yell at his brother.

"Where is your Miko?" Sesshomaru asked moving on to the reason he was there.

"What do you want with Kikyo?" Inuyasha demanded standing to his feet, his hand resting on his sword.

Sesshomaru sniffed the air slightly realizing that his idiotic brother had mated the dead one, that he didn't understand, "Not you dead mate Hanyou. Kagome." He said and hid his smirk as his brother's eyes widened in surprise.

"She's not here. She's never coming back. What did you want with her?" Inuyasha growled quickly getting over his shock.

"Hn." Sesshomaru said turning around. He wondered why she would return to her time now, she happened to always be around when she was needed. Sesshomaru paused, "What do you mean?"

"What?" Inuyasha asked baffled.

"I do not like repeating myself whelp," Sesshomaru growled, "why is she never returning?"

"She sealed the well." Inuyasha said and his eyes widened as he realized that he had given Kagome's secret away. '_Fuck it' _"The well disappeared after it was sealed"

Sesshomaru turned around now and looked at Inuyasha as if he was missing his brain. The DaiYoukai could see that Inuyasha was standing in front of the well Kagome traveled through. Inuyasha figured the look was to the idiocy of thinking that the well could prove as a mode of transportation.

"Mama is never coming back to Inuyasha," Shippo said coming to stand in front of the demon lord hoping he would realize that Kagome had not gone home, but was still in the era.

Sesshomaru noticed the Kitzunes look, and noticed as well that there was a spell surrounding the well. He smirked in his head, she had purposely left it open to his aura. As if knowing he would seek her out. _'Interesting'_ Sesshomaru thought and looked down at the kit and nodded his understanding.

"Come kit." He said and started walking away, Shippo followed without a question, until he was grabbed by his tale. Sesshomaru turned when he heard the kit growl.

Suddenly Inuyasha was up in the air by his throat, a slightly red eyed Sesshomaru growling for him to release the kit. Inuyasha did and was flung back as the same hand shot out to catch the small demon. He placed the kit back on the ground and started walking away again the small demon following behind him happily.

Inuyasha coughed and sputtered as he sat up and watched as the two demons walked away. He then rushed back to camp to alert the others to what had happened.

"You mean Lord Sesshomaru Kidnapped him? But he went willingly?" Miroku asked raising an eyebrow much like the aforementioned demon lord.

"Yes!" Inuyasha shouted for what he thought was the hundredth time, when really it had been only his second time, "He put some kind of spell on the stupid kit!"

Miroku sat silently for a few minutes contemplating what he had heard. It was most likely that Sesshomaru had thought of Kagome and Shippo as his pack, you don't spend half a year with Kagome and remain the same. Shippo must have thought he would be safe and would probably see Kagome more this way. "I don't recall demons being able to cast spells"

"Well Sesshomaru isn't just a demon! He's a stoic, heartless killer. He would find some way to cast a spell on the runt. Maybe he did it with the help of a dark Miko," Inuyasha said ignoring the glare he got from his mate.

"Sesshomaru isn't the type to relay on others to do his dirty work," Sango said angrily. Normally she wouldn't care why Inuyasha thought about the demon lord, but that was before she heard about how he had treated her sister and friend. In her eyes the demon lord was a lot better than Inuyasha.

"He's evil! You don't know what he would do!" Inuyasah yelled he really hated how his pack was talking back to him.

"What do you want us to do then?" Miroku asked taking a new angle at this.

"We have to go get the kit before he dies!" Inuyasha yelled impatiently.

"So," Miroku said pretending to think, "You want our pack to rush and attack Sesshomaru's pack in order to save a potentially cursed kit?" Inuyasha noded, "Who, if really under Sesshomaru's control, would attack us back?"

Inuyasha paused there he obviously hadn't thought about that, which was not really a surprise to the demon slayer and monk. Realizing that he was out smarted he glared at the monk and sat down to sulk.

Night fell quickly and the group of shard hunters lay down for the night, except for Inuyasah who was once again staying up. He looked around the group and sighed he had remembered the times he had done this when Kagome was here.

Inuyasha looked at the miko beside him, and for a second saw Kagome. Her chest moving up and down with her gentle breathing, it was slow showing she was in deep sleep. He let a smile rise to his face as he looked at her. Inuyasha blinked and suddenly realized it wasn't the pink tinted skin of Kagome. No, it was the pale, rough, dead skin of Kikyo, his mate. He ignored the disgusted feeling that had suddenly come over him, he loved Kikyou. _'Look at my beautiful mate sleeping and b- she doesn't breath'_ Inuyasha couldn't help the shutter that raced through his body as he realized that her chest didn't have the same gentle motion.

"Inuyasha?" Kikyo asked noticing his shiver, "Are you thinking about what your brother is doing to the kit?"

"Y-yes," Inuyasha croaked out his lie, still shocked that she wasn't sleeping. '_The dead needs no sleep'_.

"Do not worry. What is the point of worrying over one life? A demon life no less." Kikyo said and Inuyasha nodded noticing the cold tone that was never in Kagome's voice, or the obvious hatred that Kagome was lacking. '_How did I think they were the same?'_ Inuyasha thought realizing just the mistake he had made mating Kikyo. She held no love for him now, she only wanted to make sure he would end up in hell with her.

Inuyasha lowered his head in defeat he had finally chosen, and he had chosen wrong. He had picked the miko that could and would never love him.

Well there wasn't much he could do about it know, Inus mated for life. Even if the miko eventually returned to the grave it was almost impossible for him to find another mate, he was a half-demon weak in comparison to any full demon. A demoness would never risk mating him, and humans tended to hate demons altogether even if one was half human. There was the other possibility of mating another Hanyou but they would notice that he had already been mated, and to a dead miko showing that he had no taste in mates.

Had he mated Kagome it would be different, and mating her was out of the question now for more than one reason. Had Kagome not gone home and sealed the well Inuyasha highly doubted that she would consent to being his mate. It would seem that she was his second choice and that he was only mating her because she resembled Kikyo. She didn't deserve to be treated like second best because she wasn't. Then there is the fact that he had hurt her more times than he could even remember and although she was forgiving there's just so much pain a person can take.

It had finally sunk in that her feelings had started to change when she offered a truce with Sesshomaru in order for Shippo to receive demon training. That had hurt him a lot; she didn't trust him to provide for her and her kit. Even if she wasn't a demon she sure had the basic instincts of one, like showing her dominance within a pack. Providing, protecting, and caring for the pack, and seeking out a strong male for any reason.

Now he was sure, if he ever saw her again, that she wouldn't even look at him as a friend. He couldn't even blame her for it, and that irked him. Inuyasha sighed, there was no point in living in his past mistakes so tomorrow he would continue the hunt.

The sun peaked over the horizon the glaring light piercing the half demons eyes, who's only sign of discomfort was the narrowing of his pupils. He found himself reveling in the pain, it made him focus on something other than his self-pitying thoughts. He stood and looked about waiting for his vision to return now that the sun was mostly blocked by the thick trunks of the trees and the large green canopy above his head.

"Miroku, Sango, Sh-" Inuyasha stopped and quickly covered his slip up, "-it guys you're lazy." He quickly moved to his mate 'to wake her' even though she hadn't slept.

Kikyo stood and smirked at the other two members who were glaring at Inuyasha, it was obvious that her presence was unwelcome and she reveled in the rift she was causing. Getting rid of her reincarnation had been easier then she had thought; now if the others would just leave she could drag the Hanyou to hell. She turned to Inuyasha and smiled before reaching her arms around his neck bringing his head down so that their lips could meet.

Inuyasha shivered as her cold lips pressed against him, only a few nights ago it had been a shiver of want and he hoped that Kikyo didn't notice that he was disgusted as she pressed her fake body against him in a wanton display. Inuyasha closed his eyes as the dead miko continued to kiss her, imagining it was some beautiful, alive, woman instead.

As he continued in his mental fantasy it wasn't hard to make his arousal known. The miko smirked into the kiss as she felt his need pressed against her, if they kept going she was sure that he would mate her in front of the other two. It would only help her cause so she pushed on.

Inuyasha groaned as he thought about the warm body that was pressed against him, ignoring the fact that the real body was, in fact, not warm. _'who's she?'_ Inuyasha asked in his head as the face of a demoness invaded his mind, not that it mattered it was working well for him. So he continued on.

He felt Kikyo's cool hands slip into hatori and began removing it, and he spared a quick thought that they should stop that Miroku and Sango shouldn't have to watch them. It slipped away quickly as Kikyo's hands were moving on to removing his bottoms.

He forced his eyes to open and look at Kikyo hoping that his imaginary woman would remain. His desire was too great to not be sated and he didn't want to be left with no out lit. He lifted Kikyo up and slammed her into a nearby tree trunk removing her clothing in one fluid movement. In his eyes though it wasn't Kikyo it was a beautiful and alive demoness.

Kikyo was in fact clueless to the fact that her mate had no desire for her; she thought it was her causing the reactions. She had almost laughed when the others had left the clearing disgusted, but she refrained it would do no good for her mate to realize she didn't care about these trysts.

End.

**There you go I'll post my second chapter as fast as i can**


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